| How Did I Create This? |
One of the things I like best about Access is the reminder it brings that I am the
creator of everything in my life. I can’t have a car accident, gain a pound, or get a
new job unless I created it. Me. I am the Grand and Glorious Creator of everything
in my life! Most of it is really expansive, but I have created the chaos, too.
When something goes unexpectedly, this is my question: “How did I create this?”
As usual with Access, it’s not about the answer! In the question is a critical
acknowledgement of my participation in the creation. That’s also why we clear
with the words “destroy and uncreate”: by uncreating, we are owning that we
created in the first place.
This may be the most transforming element of Access. When we take
responsibility for our creations, we are reminded that we also own the creations of
the present moment. “How did I create this?” can be immediately followed by
“What would I like to create now?”
Here’s an example: 3 years ago, my last relationship ended. About 8 months
before it ended, I allowed my ex, who had a long history of financial issues and an
admitted issue with money, to consolidate debt on one of my credit cards. He had
poor credit, and mine was pristine. Then the relationship ended. For a while, he
paid on the debt, then he stopped. Finally we went into mediation, where he had
owned, so far, that 80% of the $40,000 debt was his. Research is confirming the
rest. Today I learned he has decided to withdraw from the mediation: the debt is
under my name, and he intends just to leave it there.
Now please don’t think my first reaction was to ask, How did I create this! This
debt has weighed on me, and I’ve had plenty of emotional reactions (from fear to
anger and back again) to this situation. But isn’t it clear that I created it? I knew
his credit history; I had bailed him out of financial problems many, many times; I
knew he had bailed on paying back others who had loaned him money; I knew we
had talked about ending the relationship several times in the past. I knew
everything! And the choice I made was to lend my credit. The choice.
Remember the Access definition of emotion? It’s an awareness I don’t want to
have. Well, all the emotions I feel on this topic are just about covering up an
awareness, too: I created this! I knew everything, and said yes anyway. Why
pound my chest and yell at the world? It was me. I decided to rescue. I did it for
love. I bought that he was a victim. I did superiority.
Here’s another personal example, because I think this idea is so important.
I have spent decades being discontented (okay, very unhappy!) with my body. I
have bemoaned my fate for not having a “normal” body, like the men in magazines
and movies. I wore “husky” jeans as a kid, always had a belly, and had kept my
chest covered like a Puritan. I felt victimized. What did I do to deserve this?!?
Well, things get cleared out in Access, and one day I hit up against this belief: I am
the victim of a cruel god’s joke when it comes to this body! But in Access there
are no victims, and I created everything. Including this body. “Why”, my brain
kicked in, “why would I create THIS?” The “why” doesn’t really matter, though. For
whatever reasons, this body is my creation. I created it for a reason. And I can
make another choice in these 10 seconds.
Our abilities are pure magic, if we let them be. The essence of limitation is that it
only exists if we make it real. We must solidify our limitation before it can limit us.
For example, children take a psychic awareness to a parent, and the parent says,
“No, honey, there’s no way you could know that.” So the child builds the limitation:
‘I can’t acknowledge things I know from sources beyond my senses.’ And the
awareness is cut off.
Did you know you could completely recreate your body right now? The only think
stopping you is that you believe you cannot.
At war with our bodies, we cut off so much perception!! Like children are psychic,
our bodies have knowledge beyond our wildest imagining! But as long as we buy
the limitation that they don’t, we will not hear the wisdom.
I am the creator of my body, in every detail. I own that now. I can create anything
that I’d like of it. And not through cause and effect, diet and exercise, but through
creation. . .
I invite you to spend a day (a week?) with the question “How did I create this?” It is
perhaps the most liberating tool in Access. Ask it about the things you like in your
life, and the things that you don’t. Bills, relationships, chaos in your house, your
favorite photos. How did I create this? And what do I choose to create now?
How does it get any better than this?
creator of everything in my life. I can’t have a car accident, gain a pound, or get a
new job unless I created it. Me. I am the Grand and Glorious Creator of everything
in my life! Most of it is really expansive, but I have created the chaos, too.
When something goes unexpectedly, this is my question: “How did I create this?”
As usual with Access, it’s not about the answer! In the question is a critical
acknowledgement of my participation in the creation. That’s also why we clear
with the words “destroy and uncreate”: by uncreating, we are owning that we
created in the first place.
This may be the most transforming element of Access. When we take
responsibility for our creations, we are reminded that we also own the creations of
the present moment. “How did I create this?” can be immediately followed by
“What would I like to create now?”
Here’s an example: 3 years ago, my last relationship ended. About 8 months
before it ended, I allowed my ex, who had a long history of financial issues and an
admitted issue with money, to consolidate debt on one of my credit cards. He had
poor credit, and mine was pristine. Then the relationship ended. For a while, he
paid on the debt, then he stopped. Finally we went into mediation, where he had
owned, so far, that 80% of the $40,000 debt was his. Research is confirming the
rest. Today I learned he has decided to withdraw from the mediation: the debt is
under my name, and he intends just to leave it there.
Now please don’t think my first reaction was to ask, How did I create this! This
debt has weighed on me, and I’ve had plenty of emotional reactions (from fear to
anger and back again) to this situation. But isn’t it clear that I created it? I knew
his credit history; I had bailed him out of financial problems many, many times; I
knew he had bailed on paying back others who had loaned him money; I knew we
had talked about ending the relationship several times in the past. I knew
everything! And the choice I made was to lend my credit. The choice.
Remember the Access definition of emotion? It’s an awareness I don’t want to
have. Well, all the emotions I feel on this topic are just about covering up an
awareness, too: I created this! I knew everything, and said yes anyway. Why
pound my chest and yell at the world? It was me. I decided to rescue. I did it for
love. I bought that he was a victim. I did superiority.
Here’s another personal example, because I think this idea is so important.
I have spent decades being discontented (okay, very unhappy!) with my body. I
have bemoaned my fate for not having a “normal” body, like the men in magazines
and movies. I wore “husky” jeans as a kid, always had a belly, and had kept my
chest covered like a Puritan. I felt victimized. What did I do to deserve this?!?
Well, things get cleared out in Access, and one day I hit up against this belief: I am
the victim of a cruel god’s joke when it comes to this body! But in Access there
are no victims, and I created everything. Including this body. “Why”, my brain
kicked in, “why would I create THIS?” The “why” doesn’t really matter, though. For
whatever reasons, this body is my creation. I created it for a reason. And I can
make another choice in these 10 seconds.
Our abilities are pure magic, if we let them be. The essence of limitation is that it
only exists if we make it real. We must solidify our limitation before it can limit us.
For example, children take a psychic awareness to a parent, and the parent says,
“No, honey, there’s no way you could know that.” So the child builds the limitation:
‘I can’t acknowledge things I know from sources beyond my senses.’ And the
awareness is cut off.
Did you know you could completely recreate your body right now? The only think
stopping you is that you believe you cannot.
At war with our bodies, we cut off so much perception!! Like children are psychic,
our bodies have knowledge beyond our wildest imagining! But as long as we buy
the limitation that they don’t, we will not hear the wisdom.
I am the creator of my body, in every detail. I own that now. I can create anything
that I’d like of it. And not through cause and effect, diet and exercise, but through
creation. . .
I invite you to spend a day (a week?) with the question “How did I create this?” It is
perhaps the most liberating tool in Access. Ask it about the things you like in your
life, and the things that you don’t. Bills, relationships, chaos in your house, your
favorite photos. How did I create this? And what do I choose to create now?
How does it get any better than this?
© John DeVault 2005